Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Spinal Tap

 

Just like in the movie "Spinal Tap", I'm told this pump also goes all the way to 11...

...I hope to reach that far some day...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Cash Out

 

Economists are saying it's not a good time to have a bunch of "cash on hand".  They have NOT made it clear how they feel about "cash under genitals", however...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - The Elephant in the Room Part 2

 They probably need to edit it to read:  "one size fits all...as long as you don't get too excited"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - The Elephant in the Room Part 1

Let's talk about the "elephant in the room".  Not all underwear is actually "one size fits all" regardless of what they tell you...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Big Cock

For today's puzzle, try to find all of the "cocks" in this picture...Did you find all 3?  Yes, "Big Timmy" counts since he is constantly being called a "cock-head"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Underwear Model Part 2

 

Now that we're off to a great start with our new career as an underwear model, we've almost earned enough to buy a new pair of underwear...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Underwear Model

Being an underwear model is hard work.  Many times "Big Timmy" has to make me come out for our picture shoots...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - The Boss

Although it's true that "my boss" is a dominatrix who handcuffs "Big Timmy", whips us, and keeps us locked in the basement cellar...she also offers a surprisingly good dental plan.

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Stoya: Philosophy, Pussycats, & Porn

Here is my review of the new book "Philosophy, Pussycats, & Porn" by Stoya:

It focuses a little more on the "philosophy" and "pussycats" than I was hoping for...but otherwise, it was a GREAT read!!!

(Just kidding...it is chock FULL of "porn" too!  Fooled you!!!)

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - New Pump

I'm not sure what makes me happier:  that my new vacuum pump came in the mail today, or that I needed to get a new vacuum pump because I cracked the last one while using it.  Pretty certain it's the second thing, though...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Me Time

"Big Timmy" has been in too many posts lately.  Today I'm taking some "me time" and posting just yours truly...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Chef

"Big Timmy" is not a very good chef.  For one thing, he is unable to follow simple cooking directions.  For another, I'm getting burnt to a crisp next to these hot burners...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Eating In

"Big Timmy" likes to dress up when we eat-in for dinner.  But he might be overdoing it because all we ever eat at home is Hamburger Helper.

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Spa Day

I've been spending a lot of time relaxing at the local spa lately.  People tell me I look ten years younger...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Hiding Out

I'm starting to wonder if we're on the run from the law.  Every time someone comes to the front door, I have to be "hidden away"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - New Pillow

I just got a new pillow to keep me company at night!  My old pillow did not take the news that I was "dumping it" very well...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Third Eye Wide Shut

We learned something new today:  when you get invited to an "Eyes Wide Shut"-style masked orgy, they really don't want you carrying around a little sign pointing out who you actually are!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Payday

Today was payday!  We've come along way from the days when we were paid only in loose change!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Crutches

We're using crutches until I can recover from the bad sprain "Big Timmy" inflicted on me last weekend.  I guess I should be happy he didn't break me this time, because wearing a cast down there is just silly looking.

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Perverted

I'm starting to suspect that "Big Timmy" is a pervert.  I've never actually seen him wear this coat in the rain.  He just puts it on when he wants to "flash" me around town...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Pump It Up

 

I'm getting "pumped up" for the start of Spring!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Happy New Year

Have a happy New Year!  Or is it "Nude Year"?

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - New Year's Resolution

Our New Year's resolution for this year is to spend more time relaxing in bed...

And focusing more on "Little Timmy"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Merry XXX-Mas

Merry XXX-Mas from both "Big Timmy" and "Little Timmy"!

We just need to add a bow if we are going to be someone's present this year...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Bath Time Part 3

...once again it looks like "Big Timmy" couldn't wait until Christmas to open his gifts.  At least we got the new towels that we asked for!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Bath Time Part 2

...or maybe instead of asking for new towels, we should ask Santa to see if he can get our water turned back on.  "Big Timmy" has a hard time remembering to pay the bills around here...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Bath Time

This Christmas, we need to ask for some bigger towels.  It's taking way too long to dry off after taking a bath...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Party Time

We invited all our neighbors over for a party this weekend.  We waited around by the front porch for hours to greet people, but nobody ever showed up...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Thanksgiving Preparations

Every year at Thanksgiving we always eat too much until we can't move and our pants don't fit anymore.  In preparation for this Thanksgiving Day, we've been doing a lot of sitting around on the couch with our pants off...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Veteran's Day

A "show of arms" in honor of Veteran's Day today.  As usual, "Big Timmy" feels the need to show more than just "arms"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Gym Bike

It's very important to start each day off with a good amount of exercise.  It's also very important to follow gym rules and wipe off the bike seat after use for the next person...especially if you aren't going to wear pants!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Job Interview

Well..."Big Timmy" didn't get the job that he was interviewing for.  Looks like he forgot one important rule..."don't try to sleep with your boss until AFTER you've been hired"!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Daylight Savings

Someone told us we're supposed to "set our cocks back one hour" this weekend, so we've been trying to figure out how to do that.  On an unrelated note, I think "Big Timmy" is starting to lose his hearing...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Parking Garage

Does anybody remember where we parked?  And does anybody also remember where "Big Timmy" was keeping his car keys?

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Monkey Wrench

Making some slight adjustments...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Clothespins

Helpful hint:  when hanging your laundry to dry, this makes for an ideal place to store your clothespins until you are ready for them!  The more you know...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Choking Part 2

...and those budget cuts for "choking" goes for "Little Timmy" as well.

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Choking It

The economy's been so bad lately, we've had to make some cut-backs and start doing things for ourselves.  For instance, "Big Timmy" can't even afford to pay somebody to choke him anymore...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Blue Balls

We've got "blue balls"...and we've also now officially reached a new low with our horrible puns...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Surfing Bored

Summer is officially over.  I guess we'll have to wait a whole year before getting back on the beach with our boogieboard.  Not because of the temperature outside, but because that's when we'll get out of prison for "surfing in the nude"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Labor Day

We decided to wear our new shirt to celebrate Labor Day.  Ok...I realize this shirt doesn't have anything to do with Labor Day, but, to be fair, what the heck outfit WOULD make sense for Labor Day?!?!?

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Good Side Part 2

This CAN'T be our good side.  You can only see "Big Timmy" in this picture!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Good Side

Some people tell us this is our "good side"...but I'm still undecided...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Inch By Inch

Ok.  There might have been a little cheating with this measurement attempt...but is it any worse of a scandal than "Deflategate"?!?!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Stretch Pants

Let me outta these stretch pants!  I can't breathe!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Headaches

We both have headaches today.  "Big Timmy" has a head-cold, and my head is achy from "Big Timmy" over-stimulating me...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Wine Tasting

When we have too much wine, we also tend to do this a lot...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Wine Lover

When we drink too much wine, our pants seem to fall down way too easily!

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