Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Blue Balls

We've got "blue balls"...and we've also now officially reached a new low with our horrible puns...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Surfing Bored

Summer is officially over.  I guess we'll have to wait a whole year before getting back on the beach with our boogieboard.  Not because of the temperature outside, but because that's when we'll get out of prison for "surfing in the nude"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Labor Day

We decided to wear our new shirt to celebrate Labor Day.  Ok...I realize this shirt doesn't have anything to do with Labor Day, but, to be fair, what the heck outfit WOULD make sense for Labor Day?!?!?

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Good Side Part 2

This CAN'T be our good side.  You can only see "Big Timmy" in this picture!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Good Side

Some people tell us this is our "good side"...but I'm still undecided...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Inch By Inch

Ok.  There might have been a little cheating with this measurement attempt...but is it any worse of a scandal than "Deflategate"?!?!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Stretch Pants

Let me outta these stretch pants!  I can't breathe!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Headaches

We both have headaches today.  "Big Timmy" has a head-cold, and my head is achy from "Big Timmy" over-stimulating me...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Wine Tasting

When we have too much wine, we also tend to do this a lot...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Wine Lover

When we drink too much wine, our pants seem to fall down way too easily!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Morning Stretch

But it's always nice to finally get up and stretch out...and I appreciate that "Big Timmy" isn't really into the "wearing pants" thing...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Bed Selfie

Some days it's nice to stay in bed and sleep in late...and those days are Monday through Sunday. Unemployment agrees with our lifestyle...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Massage Therapy

"Big Timmy" is trying his "hand" in the massage business here in the Charleston area.  So far, no clients...but he spends a lot of time practicing his "massage technique"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Hotel Fun Part 2

We had a great stay at the hotel!   For the record, any stains they find on the sheets were already there when we checked in...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Hotel Fun

We got to spend the weekend at a local "bed and breakfast" inn.  As you can see, we did more "bed" than "breakfast"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Headphones

When I said "turn it up", I was talking about the music, not...oh never mind...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Gym Workout

It's important to work out all your muscles each day...especially the "love muscle"!!!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Nudist Trail

It was a good day to get out on a hike yesterday.  We only ran into a few fellow hikers on our walk.  They must have been in a hurry, because they ran away pretty fast when we came by.

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Road Trip

We went on a road trip this past weekend.  As you can see, we didn't wear our seat belt.  In addition, we committed five other "moving violations".  See if you can guess them all!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Fourth of July Fireworks

In honor of the Fourth of July, "Big Timmy" has decided to treat me like a "Roman Candle" firework all weekend long...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Magic Mike XXL

We also had no luck with our screen test for the new "Magic Mike XXL" movie.  That might have something to do with the fact that the only dance move we know is "the Electric Slide".  Also, they told us we were more "L" than "XXL"...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Licking Good

We decided to stay in for dinner tonight instead.  Some say it kind of tastes like chicken...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Black Tie Affair

We're going out to a restaurant that requires a black tie.  I hate dress codes, but I guess we have to obey the rules.  Looks like we're ready to head out now...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Model

I don't mind posing for long periods while people take these pictures.  It's even better when it's hot outside because we would most likely just be sitting around naked anyway...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Star Wars

"Big Timmy" is a huge fan of Star Wars.  He likes to pretend that he's a jedi knight and that I'm his lightsaber.  I guess he's pretending to be Mace Windu, since this "lightsaber" is starting to look really purple...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Hot and Sweaty

Great!  Now we're all sweaty.  Not only was it hot outside today, "Big Timmy" forgot that he has no idea how to play tennis...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Tennis

Another one of our favorite outdoor activities down here in Charleston is to play tennis.  We have the racquet, so I guess we're ready to go out and play!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Life Is Good

The shirt reads "Life is Good".  In general, I agree with that assessment...except for the times I am forced to watch "the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" on television obviously...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Computer Time

Some days there's nothing good on TV, so I also spend a lot of my time at the computer...mostly trying to figure out how to work the keyboard while being grabbed like this...

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Close Up

"Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."  If you get that reference, then let me say how great it is to meet another "old person" on the Internet!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - The Ass Next Door

The neighbor who lives behind me is a real "ass", as you can see in this picture (and "no", these horrible puns are NOT going to get any better!).

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Hot Rod

"Big Timmy" is a huge wrestling fan.  One of his favorite wrestlers is "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. That's Roddy's T-shirt you see in these pictures. You can imagine how disappointed I was when I figured out that "Hot Rod" was not in reference to me!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Hanging Around

As a male dick, I spend a lot of my time just “hanging around”.  I know that probably seems like a stupid joke to you, but it's actually considered quite hilarious to us dicks!

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Dick's Story - Male Nude Pic Blog Entry - Introduction

Hi there!  My name is “Timmy”.  I’m a dick.  Here’s my picture.  See that the sign is pointing to me?  My human to whom I’m forever attached to is also called “Timmy”.  He also gets called “a dick” a lot.  So it can be difficult at times to tell which one of us people are talking to.  For purposes of this blog, I (the penis) will be called "Little Timmy" and my human will be called "Big Timmy".

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